MER

I have several friends who have marriages that are shaky. Like, house of cards ready to collapse shaky. It saddens me so deeply to watch their struggles. It also makes me pause to think about my own marriage. I think I've totally underestimated how lucky I am to have an uncomplicated husband. In the ways of love that is. Believe me...he has other issues but THAT will be saved for another blog. My husband (he will be referred to henceforth as MER) is such a simple man. Basically if you feed him, he will love you forever. In the early days of our marriage I used to try to get him to be deeper than he was and is. Why didn't he write poetry and declare his undying love for me in iambic pentameter every day? Or least once a week? Heck, I would have even taken once a month! No flowers, sonnets, romantic evenings with wine and candles for me. Nothing. Nada. But, it has taken me 9 years and 3 kids to appreciate the simplicity that is MER. I've realized the majority of what makes it work is that we've stopped trying to make each other something we're not. I know his issues and although they still bug me from time to time, I've learned to deal with them (for the most part). The same goes with him. He lets me be me. The neatest thing is...we have each grown towards the others way of thinking. He is still not incredibly romantic but does tell me every day he loves me and that I am beautiful. I am not such a sappy romantic anymore and don't require all of the extra gestures that I once did. Heck, he makes me swoon when he unloads the dishwasher now! Forget the flowers, they die. Pour out the wine, it makes me sleepy. I would still love to hear him recite sonnets but that dream is slowly dying, too. I used to get so angry with him when he made me laugh when I was sad or upset about something. Now, I look forward to it.

I went to bed so sad last night after talking to a dear friend who had just told me she and her husband are separating. Sick at heart for her I crawled beneath the covers and snuggled up to my MER and as we chatted quietly about this and that, I realized...most of all, I know he is steady. He is my rock. God knew exactly what I needed in a husband even though I had something totally different in mind. As I drifted off to sleep I thanked God for his wisdom. I thanked him for my wise cracking, rear slapping, fun loving goof ball of a husband. Without him I would be lost and not nearly as complete.